down dogs

I sit down this morning to knock out a 30 minute meditation. Time to clear my mind and face the morning sun... I think to myself "this is awesome." The house is empty, the sun is rising and what a way to start the day. I do a couple quick stretches and a little bend and twist and slowly ease into the sitting position - ready to reach nirvana. I close my eyes, feel the warm sun on my face, hear the peaceful roll of the waterfall from outside (ohhhh, this is going to be the one)... in breath is great, out breath is good - no distractions - in my mind, no worries.

SQUEAK... Whine... Growl... open my eyes - 3 dogs... 3 cold dogs. I try to push them out of my head, in breath - out breath... SQUEAK. Screw it. I let them in. 5 minutes of look at me, pet me, what were you eating, smell my butt, and everyone settles down. Sun is still up. I find a seat I close my eyes again. In breath - out breath - with a faint scent of dog breath. I open my eyes and there is a dog staring at me 2 inches away from my face... I ignore her, she lies down. Okay, breathe in - breathe out, thoughts drift off to things. I bring them back... in - out, in - out. Off to my right, my smallest dog has reached maximum nirvana on the couch and has taken on a nice hardy snore, drowning out the waterfall and my attention. I sink my breathing with hers and go on my way. FOCUS. Then (tooooot) the big dog farts and that's it for me. Meditation will wait.

Next month vote ------->

2 weeks

So... 2 weeks of meditation, I missed one day and that was so I could play in the snow. This one has been anticlimactic, no good side stories of bad waiters or bland food. Only 13 days left in this one so I need to consider next month, suggestions welcome. For those of you with visions of meditation a friend of mine (russ) passed this video along to me, no new age crap just the facts. Simple and to the point, other than its over an hour long... worth it.

ommm (nom nom)

Meditation is a strange thing - I have an active mind, a little too active. This morning I was listening to this guy tell me to make a ball of positive energy light from inside of me and pass it to someone I was in conflict with... then make the person pass it back to me. I made the person shoot giant fireballs at me. Yeah.

This has actually been harder than being vegan: I could control what went into my mouth, I cannot however control what floats through my mind and subconscious. I have been trying different approaches, focus on breath, mantras, body part relaxation checklist (I like that one) even listening to a sexy-voiced scottish guy telling me "yourd mooskles ard geeting evier"... all with some results but not the total enlightenment I was hoping for, but it has only been a week. (a week I gained 4 of the 14 lbs back. I am such a dork)

I get the light metaphors and the "energy" crap but what I really want and enjoy about meditation is the act of being mindful... that is the important part for me. I will type it again - MINDFUL, mindful of what I am doing at all moments, not just the meditating ones and that is very hard with all the crap I do. Lesson plans (plans) projects due (due) class time (time) lunch date (date)... Add to that dumb shit I've done in the past and will do in the future. When am I/When are we going to be living in the now. Blah... that was a rant, sorry I've had a drink. For the 4 of you that read this, think about this for me, be mindful of what you are doing. If I am having a conversation with you, I will try to listen, not think of the next witty quip. If I am flying a kite I will try to focus on flying that kite... Maybe you can do the same. Yea for unfocused rants!!!

we did it...

well, that is if I can make it through tonight without getting that cheeseburger I've craved. 31 days, about 14 lbs, 2 belt holes and the annoyance of reading every label and asking every waitress... I am done. It was insightful. I do not want to be a vegan. I see things differently. I learned a lot and I will pay more attention to what goes into my body, but I do not mind using a few animals. It would be hypocritical for me to be vegan. I am not an activist, and if I were, I don't see where you draw the line. The ultimate outcome would be to sell off everything and go to darfur, afghanistan or haiti or some crazy-ass 3rd world place and dedicate yourself to helping those who really need it and never consume, purchase, or use anything. But no, I am not - and I feel, for me, cutting out dairy and the occasional chicken sandwich would just be silly in the grand scheme of things. I applaud anyone who does this (good job), but it is not for me. Thank you to my vegetarian and vegan friends for all the encouragement, recipes and support.

I do recommend you try this. It's a good way to kick-start a healthy diet, lifestyle or just make you aware of what you put in your body. I actually don't crave meat as much as I did and will probably cut back, maybe meat four or five times a week (very little red meat) - not to save the animals, but to save my cholesterol and fat ass from dying. One of the best things that came out of it was I had to cook a bunch and Angie and I spent a lot of time together in the kitchen. (she needs all the practice she can get ;))

Month 2 - I have revamped month 2 into *WELLNESS* there are hand motions and like a little musical intro that goes with that... *WELLNESS* it needs to be said with a light airiness whhellnessss, anyway it's about overall health and well-being. A regiment of a few things... rising at 6 a.m., morning meditation followed by light exercise and breakfast, sensible meals and in bed no later than 10. Sounds normal enough. The focus is on meditation, of course, but I felt a need for the other to make it a routine. I doubt this will have the drama or mood swings the vegan diet had, but one can only hope and hey, it's only 28 days this time.

ted video on living to 100.

Plant based diets (interesting). Not that I want to live to 100- but healthier longer would be nice. 6 days till meditation and some cheese.

3 weeks

Classes started today and my inbox at work filled up, posting about my little vegan jaunt may have to wait. I am 3 weeks in and feeling pretty good. Dropped a total of 10lbs, skin looks good, stomach is not always in knots (just sometimes) and I no longer want to stab anyone in the face for a pork chop (well, maybe).

On to next month - I have been trying to sell meditation to people and it must have worked. I have a busy stressful month and meditation will do me good. Art making, albeit one I will enjoy, needs to be in the summer and in a month with more than 28 days.

Also saw Food Inc. this week... worth the watch, it will help me through the next 10 days not that my awesome wife doesn't keep me focused.  (I think she actually enjoys this diet)

Next.

Not that veganism is not the greatest thing ever but I do look forward to eating a little meat, at least some fish... fish are assholes anyways. Pescetarianism? Well I'm done with isms for a few months. To help me move on to the next month I enlist the 7 people that read this to cast your vote for next month. On your right over there in that poll, it's anonymous so do it. If you have other ideas pass them on to me (insert winky emoticon).

I have had a couple of glasses of wine or I would regale you with a witty anecdote or story ( I almost typed antidote). One good thing about veganism 2 glasses of wine = 4.?

Math.