Meditation is a strange thing - I have an active mind, a little too active. This morning I was listening to this guy tell me to make a ball of positive energy light from inside of me and pass it to someone I was in conflict with... then make the person pass it back to me. I made the person shoot giant fireballs at me. Yeah.
This has actually been harder than being vegan: I could control what went into my mouth, I cannot however control what floats through my mind and subconscious. I have been trying different approaches, focus on breath, mantras, body part relaxation checklist (I like that one) even listening to a sexy-voiced scottish guy telling me "yourd mooskles ard geeting evier"... all with some results but not the total enlightenment I was hoping for, but it has only been a week. (a week I gained 4 of the 14 lbs back. I am such a dork)
I get the light metaphors and the "energy" crap but what I really want and enjoy about meditation is the act of being mindful... that is the important part for me. I will type it again - MINDFUL, mindful of what I am doing at all moments, not just the meditating ones and that is very hard with all the crap I do. Lesson plans (plans) projects due (due) class time (time) lunch date (date)... Add to that dumb shit I've done in the past and will do in the future. When am I/When are we going to be living in the now. Blah... that was a rant, sorry I've had a drink. For the 4 of you that read this, think about this for me, be mindful of what you are doing. If I am having a conversation with you, I will try to listen, not think of the next witty quip. If I am flying a kite I will try to focus on flying that kite... Maybe you can do the same. Yea for unfocused rants!!!
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