down dogs

I sit down this morning to knock out a 30 minute meditation. Time to clear my mind and face the morning sun... I think to myself "this is awesome." The house is empty, the sun is rising and what a way to start the day. I do a couple quick stretches and a little bend and twist and slowly ease into the sitting position - ready to reach nirvana. I close my eyes, feel the warm sun on my face, hear the peaceful roll of the waterfall from outside (ohhhh, this is going to be the one)... in breath is great, out breath is good - no distractions - in my mind, no worries.

SQUEAK... Whine... Growl... open my eyes - 3 dogs... 3 cold dogs. I try to push them out of my head, in breath - out breath... SQUEAK. Screw it. I let them in. 5 minutes of look at me, pet me, what were you eating, smell my butt, and everyone settles down. Sun is still up. I find a seat I close my eyes again. In breath - out breath - with a faint scent of dog breath. I open my eyes and there is a dog staring at me 2 inches away from my face... I ignore her, she lies down. Okay, breathe in - breathe out, thoughts drift off to things. I bring them back... in - out, in - out. Off to my right, my smallest dog has reached maximum nirvana on the couch and has taken on a nice hardy snore, drowning out the waterfall and my attention. I sink my breathing with hers and go on my way. FOCUS. Then (tooooot) the big dog farts and that's it for me. Meditation will wait.

Next month vote ------->

2 weeks

So... 2 weeks of meditation, I missed one day and that was so I could play in the snow. This one has been anticlimactic, no good side stories of bad waiters or bland food. Only 13 days left in this one so I need to consider next month, suggestions welcome. For those of you with visions of meditation a friend of mine (russ) passed this video along to me, no new age crap just the facts. Simple and to the point, other than its over an hour long... worth it.

ommm (nom nom)

Meditation is a strange thing - I have an active mind, a little too active. This morning I was listening to this guy tell me to make a ball of positive energy light from inside of me and pass it to someone I was in conflict with... then make the person pass it back to me. I made the person shoot giant fireballs at me. Yeah.

This has actually been harder than being vegan: I could control what went into my mouth, I cannot however control what floats through my mind and subconscious. I have been trying different approaches, focus on breath, mantras, body part relaxation checklist (I like that one) even listening to a sexy-voiced scottish guy telling me "yourd mooskles ard geeting evier"... all with some results but not the total enlightenment I was hoping for, but it has only been a week. (a week I gained 4 of the 14 lbs back. I am such a dork)

I get the light metaphors and the "energy" crap but what I really want and enjoy about meditation is the act of being mindful... that is the important part for me. I will type it again - MINDFUL, mindful of what I am doing at all moments, not just the meditating ones and that is very hard with all the crap I do. Lesson plans (plans) projects due (due) class time (time) lunch date (date)... Add to that dumb shit I've done in the past and will do in the future. When am I/When are we going to be living in the now. Blah... that was a rant, sorry I've had a drink. For the 4 of you that read this, think about this for me, be mindful of what you are doing. If I am having a conversation with you, I will try to listen, not think of the next witty quip. If I am flying a kite I will try to focus on flying that kite... Maybe you can do the same. Yea for unfocused rants!!!